Hi, I am a woman, and I am a cosplayer. Sometimes I wear clothing (costumes or otherwise) that is seen as sexier, more provocative. I’m not doing that because I want you to decide how sexy I am. Maybe I’m doing it because the costume is a technical challenge that I want to conquer, or because this character is one of my favorites and I want to be them, or maybe because it’s aesthetically cool and I’d like to wear it.

Believe it or not, cosplay is an art form, and as with any art form, I invite you to critique the costume. Talk to me about craftsmanship, fabric/materials choice, tailoring, whatever. Talk to me about the technical aspects of physically portraying a character. But my body is the canvas, not the product, and don’t forget that this canvas is a human being with thoughts and feelings and opinions.

I don’t care whether you think I conform to your standards of beauty or sexiness. I don’t care what you think I can do to be more attractive, and I don’t care if you would like to have sex with or masturbate to me. Because at the end of the day, I cosplay because I love the character or costume, not because I want people to think I’m attractive. I’m not inviting you to look at my body by putting my cosplay out in the world and on the internet. Honestly, if you can’t look at cleavage without whipping out your dick, is that my fault, or yours? 

I’m wearing a costume that was designed by somebody else, and many (most) female character designs highlight the female form. I have a problem with that. I’d like female character designs to be realistic and not pander to white-thin-curvy-abled-perfect standards of beauty, but I’m not the one holding the pencil. And no, I’m not going to stop cosplaying. Hiding, feeling too shamed to cosplay because of how people treat female cosplayers—that doesn’t solve the problem. Speaking out does.

I can’t control what you think, but I can say this: I am a woman and I am a cosplayer, and I’m doing this for myself, not for you.