There are moments in life where the right decision won’t always be the easiest one. Leaving New York City is definitely one of those.
I’m still two days from my big move to Seattle, but tonight we had a big dinner with my extended family—my Big Fat Italian Family, or to use our word for it, FA-MI-LY—as one last goodbye for the people who’ve known and have stood by me for my entire life. Like any good Italian girl, I am notoriously attached to my family, and saying goodbye to them tonight has hit me the hardest so far, and will be second only to saying goodbye to my parents on Monday.
As I told them this evening, I’ve spent the past three or so weeks clinging to New York and its people so hard that I’ve almost forgotten that I’m leaving. I’m putting so much effort into enjoying my time here that I’m ignoring all the good things that I’m looking forward to when I arrive in Seattle.
Their support means the world to me, because knowing that they believe I’m making the right decision makes me sure that I’ve made the right decision. I know I’m doing the right thing, and I’m confident because they’re standing by me.
I just read through their cards now, alone except for my sleeping dog next to me, and wept. From the money they gave to make sure I can still eat while I’m unemployed, to the words and well-wishes, to my widowed aunt signing the card with her boyfriend’s name as well—knowing how much I’ve accepted him as one of ours and encouraged her when things have been tough….
I’m rambling, I know. I’m flooded with memories, with family feels, with warmth and laughter and Proper Italian Food. Even though I know I’m trying to make it back for Easter Day since I’ll be in Boston that weekend for PAX anyway, it’s hard for me to say goodbye. And yet I know that these are the people who’ve encouraged me through all of my dreams and will continue to stand by me, no matter how far we are from each other, and even after our deaths.
Or, as my cousin Richie said: “You’re making the right decision because you’re doing something that you want to do, not something that someone else wants you to do. You’re going to be happy, and we’re happy for you.”
La mia famiglia. My fa-mi-ly.