- 13th February
- 10th January
[I]magine what would happen if, instead of centering our beliefs about heterosexual sex around the idea that the man “penetrates” the woman, we were to say that the woman’s vagina “consumes” the man’s penis. This would create a very different set of connotations, as the woman would become the active initiator and the man would be the passive and receptive party. One can easily see how this could lead to men and masculinity being seen as dependent on, and existing for the benefit of, femaleness and femininity. Similarly, if we thought about the feminine traits of being verbally effusive and emotive not as signs of insecurity or dependence, but as bold acts of self-expression, then the masculine ideal of the “strong and silent” type might suddenly seem timid and insecure by comparison.
- 18th November
Because there are men out there who refuse to take no for an answer
who think “no” means “I’ll say yes eventually”
or that “no” means “I’m doing this on purpose to torture you”
or that “no, I’m gay” is not even a concern because we all know that women still love the cock, even the gay ones
and they keep pushing and pushing, publicly flaunting their agony out of a desperate need for attention
(and because maybe she’ll love him if he agonizes long enough)
and they brood and mope and blame the world and “suffer”
(in quotation marks because their suffering is self-imposed and they refuse to move on)
because the “object of their possession”
(notice that I didn’t say anything about love because it mutates beyond that)
refuses to give them a moment to just confess one more time
because maybe the first ten attempts ended in no but the eleventh will lead to making out
who rape the very memory of the person they supposedly love by imposing fantasies and false desires on someone who very clearly outlined that they are not interested
and who deign to claim that this woman might have once or could have possibly loved him, no matter how many times she told him no
—I need feminism because men like this are “just boys” who will grow out of it, and because the women who are forced to endure this were “leading them on” by wanting to stay friends with someone who sees no value in friendship with a woman that doesn’t lead to fucking
- 9th November
- 6th August
- 6th August
- 9th July
- 27th May
If you’re a female cosplayer (or even if you aren’t!) and are aligned with the viewpoints I stated in my “I cosplay for myself” post, I invite you to reblog it. Let that be the disclaimer for your cosplays. Let other people know that you’re not going to put up with shaming and/or objectifying comments no matter what kind of costume you wear.
Maybe I’m being too idealistic, maybe I’d love to start a movement…. But given how all of those comments influence our decisions to cosplay or not cosplay—the fears of creepy comments or of people insulting you for not conforming to their standards of beauty, or even feeling like “I should cosplay this because people will like how much skin I’m showing”—I think we need to take a stand. Cosplayers are not objects: we’re people and we’re artists and models and actors and we’re tired of being treated like we’re only worth something if we’re attractive. I call bullshit.
I’m at a point in my life where I’m tired of sitting back and accepting sexism as inevitable. I want to fight those misconceptions, and that post is my manifesto.
- 27th May
Hi, I am a woman, and I am a cosplayer. Sometimes I wear clothing (costumes or otherwise) that is seen as sexier, more provocative. I’m not doing that because I want you to decide how sexy I am. Maybe I’m doing it because the costume is a technical challenge that I want to conquer, or because this character is one of my favorites and I want to be them, or maybe because it’s aesthetically cool and I’d like to wear it.
Believe it or not, cosplay is an art form, and as with any art form, I invite you to critique the costume. Talk to me about craftsmanship, fabric/materials choice, tailoring, whatever. Talk to me about the technical aspects of physically portraying a character. But my body is the canvas, not the product, and don’t forget that this canvas is a human being with thoughts and feelings and opinions.
I don’t care whether you think I conform to your standards of beauty or sexiness. I don’t care what you think I can do to be more attractive, and I don’t care if you would like to have sex with or masturbate to me. Because at the end of the day, I cosplay because I love the character or costume, not because I want people to think I’m attractive. I’m not inviting you to look at my body by putting my cosplay out in the world and on the internet. Honestly, if you can’t look at cleavage without whipping out your dick, is that my fault, or yours?
I’m wearing a costume that was designed by somebody else, and many (most) female character designs highlight the female form. I have a problem with that. I’d like female character designs to be realistic and not pander to white-thin-curvy-abled-perfect standards of beauty, but I’m not the one holding the pencil. And no, I’m not going to stop cosplaying. Hiding, feeling too shamed to cosplay because of how people treat female cosplayers—that doesn’t solve the problem. Speaking out does.
I can’t control what you think, but I can say this: I am a woman and I am a cosplayer, and I’m doing this for myself, not for you.
- 16th April
- Guy: There are so many girls in the club who don't respect themselves.
- Me: How do you know they don't respect themselves? Is it because of what they're wearing?
- Guy: That and because of how they're dancing.
- Me: So what you're saying is because a girl dances in a way she finds fun while wearing a dress that makes her feel good, which may or may not be low-cut, tight, or short, she disrespects herself?
- Guy: Oh come on! You know there are those certain types of girls who act a certain way and therefore get treated in a certain way because they don't respect themselves.
- Me: No, I don't know that to be true. What I know is you're reinforcing the rape culture we currently live in.
- Guy: Look, I have cousins and sisters. I know what it's like, but you also have to understand that I'm a man and I... I have urges.
- Me: Oh? So if your cousins or sisters wore a dress they liked and danced a way they liked at a club, and a man just so happened to get urges because of their seductive nature, then they deserve to be treated a certain way by this guy?
- Guy: If a guy did that to my cousins or sisters, I would want to hurt him.
- Me: Then why is it okay for guys to do it to other girls because of the type of girl they are?
- Guy: But you have to admit there is a certain type of girl....
- Me: No. Stop. There are no buts here. There is no "certain type of girl" who deserves to be treated in an inappropriate manner. What a girl wears and how a girl acts is in no way a key card to her sexuality. Clothing and behavior is not consent. You know what is? CONSENT.